We’re all in the gutter, but I’m seeing stars!

I cannot believe how long it has been since I sat at my iPad and blogged! Need to start getting regular with this again! Figured I would make this one a little healthy update as to why I’ve been so absent from the world of blogging….
Two Holidays and a Third one pending 

So, since the break up of school I’ve been travelling a little. First up was a little trip to Spain. It’s funny actually, upon booking the trip with my friends we were convinced that we were staying in Barcelona, turns out the only Barcelona related thing about our holiday was the airport haha! This certainly didn’t prevent myself or my friends from making the most of our week away from the UK, we had an amazing time. We stayed in a little three star hotel in the centre of Lloret De Mar. For those of you who love clubbing and love beaches – I would definitely recommend it! Our hotel was nice, but the room was too tooooooooo hot!! It would be hotter in our bedroom than it would be outside, and I’m pretty sure that every morning we could have fried eggs on our backs and had those for breakfast. I’m not even exaggerating, we would wake up in what felt like a puddle, the heat was so intense! Our days were filled with sight seeing, arcade games and some serious flirting with our gorgeous German neighbours, think we all fell a little bit in love while we were away…. Evenings consisted of the same motive, we found a little tapas and shisha bar right around the corner from out hotel. We think it was a family business, and they certainly became our little Spanish family! We sat in the same spot every evening, ordered almost the same thing for dinner, got some shisha and cocktails and would just talk about the day we had. As you can imagine, night time included an awful lot of alcohol and clubbing! Clubs there were pretty good, okay that’s an understatement! Going clubbing abroad is the best! It was insane there, amazing deals on drinks and the music was always on point. 

After returning from Lloret I barely had time to unpack my suitcase as we were off on a little family trip back home to the south of France. It hit me that I hadn’t been over there for about 3 years I think? I cannot explain how excited I was to see my grandparents, auntie and uncle and my lovely cousins who I adore so much. I remember seeing my youngest cousin, Mika, and thinking boyyyyyy you’ve grown up! He speaks like a man, he’s taller than me and he has grown up to be very very cute! I know bringing him back home to visit would get him a lot of attention from English girls ha!! He is such a wonderful young man, i was overwhelmed by pride just being in his company. We get on like a house on fire and I really really miss him! His older sister Maelle and I are very close too! She’s 6 months older than I am and she really is such a great character! The type of person I would be close friends anyway even if we were not related. She introduced us to her boyfriend, he seemed really genuine and friendly! They both gave me a lot of advice for university which was really comforting. Onto Melanie, my mums oldest neice! She’s the biggest shock to me because her age baffles me! I cannot believe she is now in her early twenties! She has a tattoo of a compas on her shoulder which is so well done, it looks stunning! Gosh how they have all grown these past three years …..

My grandparents are a lovely couple! My grandmother over there is a really great cook, and always pulls out all the stops for us when we are there. I spent many a afternoon playing games with her, talking about life and old memories. She showed me loads of picture of when she was young which was really heart warming. You forget that everybody was young once! My grandpa is such an upbeat guy! He’s so cheeky, he’s the life of any party. Always has a funny story behind anything, which if you actually listen to carefully you realise that he is very very intelligent! It was such a good thing to go there this summer, it has made me realise that I never want to spend so many years apart from them again. Malta 2016 with my cousins looks to be next summers motive!!

On Monday, I’m hitting Amsterdam with my girls as a little reward for all my hard work this year… Let me tell you about that
Results day 2015!

What a nervous wreck I was the night before. My goodness! I couldn’t stay at home because my mum knew my results from being head of exams at my school. I know she would never tell me them or even give me a hint, she is the absolute pinnacle of professionalism! It was more for myself really, I didn’t want to be agitated the whole night. Although I still stayed up until 2am refreshing my emails every other minute!

When I woke up I had found that I had been accepted at both my firm AND my insurance universities, I though, blimey! You can’t have done that badly in English then! At this point I was just buzzing to get to school, I kept running through what I remember from my exams in my head. Worse case scenario must be AAB, surly? I worked hard! When I got there my head teacher told me that I would be surprised at one result in particular. My heart sank! I thought…. No! Please don’t tell me I got less than an A in Philosophy…

BUT NO! I smashed it!! I got an A* I’m Philosophy and am in English! My A was in Media! I ran to my mum and just hugged her! I was so happy and she was too, and so proud. Even now, two weeks on she keeps calling me her star and I finally feel like I have really made her proud and feel like a good mum. Because she is, she’s fantastic! Hard work and dedication really pays off, if you want to turn your life around it is never, ever too late! How do I know this? Because I am living proof 😉😉

Now it’s all about the 27th of September! It needs to hurry up, I can’t wait to start uni! 

See you at freshers 😜

I’m Already Worried About My Children.

I often make rather bold and flippant remarks such as “My Daughter isn’t kissing a guy until she’s 30” , “If my son disrespects me he’s going to boarding school” or “My children won’t be touching technology until they aren’t children anymore”. Obviously this is mostly tongue-in-cheek but there is always a bit of truth in what I say when I make jokes. Allow me to elaborate…

For starters, I don’t know what the future holds and, quite frankly, I wouldn’t want to know as that would be boring. But, if I am blessed enough to fall in love with a handsome, kind (and preferably German!!) man and have children; at my young age I already have my fair share of concerns. Initially, how do I even know if I am going to be able to afford to have kids. Our world is becoming more and more expensive everyday. I have friends which claim to want 4 or 5 children, fine, each to their own, but seriously how are you going to afford to feed, clothe, educate, treat and provide for that many! Unless you’re verging on millionaire status, by the time any of us are ready to have kids, a comfortable life will be very difficult to have. It also shocks me that we seem to be so set on what we want and how many we want at our age. How on earth can I know NOW what I will want in my middle to late twenties? Makes no logical sense. But of coarse we should all have goals.

Okay, so, back to my worries…. Growing up I was full of imagination. I loved colouring books and teddy bears and could make a good prop and story out of just about any material presented to me. I hate to say this, but, imagination and creativity in children is verging on extinction. I see 10 year olds owning every game console on the market. Kids half my age posting gang signs on Instagram. For goodness sake, the other day at the airport this little boy kept wailing and crying because his phone kept losing signal and he couldn’t play his game! What kind of parents are we becoming!? I don’t know about some people, but I want my daughter to drag me off the sofa to play tea time with her dolls. I want my son to ask me for help fighting off the monster under his bed. I want to look out the window and see my children rolling around, exploring, being active, talking to themselves. Let’s face it, the only people deemed as “normal” for that sort of thing are children. When push comes to shove, I want my kids far away from the mainstream for as long as possible- life is so much better that way. What is it they say? Ignorance is bliss… Oh! Absolutely! Some of the most hurtful things I’ve ever had said about me have been seen or heard via the Internet or a phone. Some of the most hurtful things I have ever said have been done through the metaphorical handcuff of my handheld device. I used to be a nice girl before social media set unrealistic expectations for myself and the rest of world. Honest.

Another thing I don’t understand is how foul mouthed the young are becoming. Yes I get it, we can’t protect them forever, but there are girls as young as 3/4 who know what twerking is or want to be “fucked right”. If you thought it couldn’t get any worse, think again my friends, little girls are growing up thinking their sexualisation is normal! If I saw my 3 year old dancing like Miley or talking like a Kardashian I honestly would think that I had just failed as a parent. Little ones should be looking up to Cinderella and The Cat in the Hat. Not half naked, uneducated women who are riding the patriarchal wave. Oh and…. If you’re son is 6 years old; please don’t buy him GTA. It’s all guns, prostitutes and “Money Money Money”. We grow up to be materialistic, sexist and racist anyway, I beg you stop speeding up that process! Here’s a thought… Buy them the Harry Potter books.

Ultimately the worst thing about all this is there is only so much protecting a parent can really do. My mother always tells me that one of the most difficult things a parent has to learn is that they have to “grow with their child”. As much as I won’t want my daughter falling in love at a young age, it is bound to happen. And when it does, I will be there to hold her when she cries, give her advice and let her know that no matter what she does, mummy will be there for her. I won’t want my son to be a player, but I will be polite to every girl he brings home and make sure everything is safe…. If you get what I mean.

 I cannot even imagine how tiring, stressful and frightening parenthood will be but I know that this much is true; if I am half the parent that mine were to me than my kids should turn out alright.

Memories Of My Grandma

Alzheimer’s disease; virtually unknown to me until about 5 years ago. I still remember the day that worry sparked on the last day I ever saw my grandmother drive her car to visit us. As usual, it was a wonderful day and she left as normal to drive home. All would still be normal if she hadn’t come back, declaring that she couldn’t get home, she didn’t know the way. This came as a shock to my parents and to myself. I was sat at the top of the stairs, very confused, watching my mother leave to help her. From that day onwards, things changed but the memories I’ve held of her will always stay with me. Wether or not she would remember them herself, I know in my head and in my heart that I shared some brilliant moments with her.

Memories from my childhood

“You look so much like how Rosemary did when she was young.” A line often thrown at me during any family event. It is one I take as a compliment, Grandma was beautiful. She had lovely strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. I always felt that her eyes shone in a way that seemed as though she understood me. As though she could comfort anybody with just one look. She laughed (and still does) at the most inappropriate of times; something which my farther definitely had passed down to him!

My oldest and most fondest memory of her when I was a child was feeding the ducks. It became a tradition of ours. Rain or shine, whenever I’d visit, I would run to the kitchen to make sure the bag of bread had already been cut into small pieces. Obviously, I ate more of the it than the poor ducks! The park in Enfield which we would go to was a nice little place, I remember how we would stand on the bridge for hours feeding the ducks, naming them, trying to aim for those who didn’t appear to be getting as much as their friends. But it wasn’t just the ducks that made visiting the park so much fun. My grandma was always an active woman, she would kick a ball with me, run across the road as if she owned the place and always had a great story behind just about everything. 

A memory which I myself cannot recal but my Grandma still can was when I stayed with her for a few weeks when I was tiny tiny tiny. My mother had an ofsted inspection which obviously at my tender age, I was unable to help her as her partner in crime. Apparently, when I went home again my grandma was overwhelmed by loneliness and she missed even the site my toys scattered around her house. Hearing about that still makes me weak inside …. Anyway! The bit that always makes Grandma giggle upon recollection is that during that time, she had a funeral to attend. She couldn’t leave me at home by myself and she didn’t want to miss it. So I went with her, in my little pram and was as good as gold! Looking back, I’m glad that I was! This is something she remembers quite clearly of me so Thank goodness I behaved.

As I slowly grew a little bit older, my world expand beyond school, home and parks. One thing we loved to do was go to the theatre to watch musicals, shows and even some funky and strange dance performances. We would always go to lunch somewhere fabulous beforehand and conversation was always well stimulated. One place I remember well was a little French restaurant in central London which was supposedly Kylie Minogues favourite place. Grandma would always get the sea bass or the chicken from there. She really liked it. The best part of those days would be casually looking across during the show to see her fast asleep! It would be so cute, she would suddenly wake up, a little confused, look around to make sure we hadn’t noticed and carry on watching the show. We make harmless jokes as a family about it: she’s been to see the play War Horse about 4 or 5 times and states that every time she goes they add something new- although we say she just falls asleep during different parts of it!

Memories from my taste buds

She was the most incredible hostess. You could not fault her. I would love to waltz into her flat and be welcomed by the smell of a good, well prepared roast! Of coarse when we were there she would always pull out her finest efforts. Her baked potatoes were like little golden balls of sunlight, her meat was always succulent and would melt in your mouth. Just typing this now makes me miss her old self… Not because I miss the food, but because I miss the satisfied look on her face when we would applaud her meals. Her illness really has taken away her most incredible assets.

When it comes to an omelette, my grandma certainly set the standard high! She had a special frying pan to make them in which she would never wash (according to her, that was the secret ingredient). Honestly, they were the best! Nothing could compare! One of her omelettes and slice of toast with butter; the definitive taste of my childhood. 

Things She Always Says and Remembers Now

• “My father always told me that it was easier to spend than to save”

• The fact that she used to work for a wine merchant in London

• Being told by her doctor that she wasn’t to drive anymore

• That she went to a convent and that everything is so different now

• “I was caught speeding only once, maybe twice, maybe”

• “Oh dear **laughs** you can’t take me anywhere can you!”

• The exact address of where she lived growing up and how their house once got bombed in the war

Just SOME of My Top Quotes from Films and TV shows…

• “If you’re good at something, never do it for free” – The Joker (The Dark Knight)

• “No one asked your opinion. You filthy little mudblood” – Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets

• “All problems are boring, until they’re your own” – Red (Orange is The New Black)

• “I’m Chuck Bass” – Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl)

• “I rejected your first three marriage proposals not because I didn’t love, but because I couldn’t bare the thought of a royal life. But then, I thought, he stammers so beautifully… They’ll leave us alone” – Elizabeth (The Kings Speech

• “People shouldn’t do something out of obligation. Do it because you want to” – Stella (Orange is the new Black)

• “I am, and always will be, the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes. The dreamer of Impossible dreams” – The Doctor (Doctor Who)

• “You have filled my tea with lumps of sugar, and though I asked most distinctly for bread and butter, you have given me cake. I am known for the gentleness of my disposition, and the extraordinary sweetness of my nature, but I warn you, Miss Cardew, you may go too far.” – Gwendolyn (The Importance of Being Earnest)

• “I was married. My husband cheated on me left and right. One day he tells me it’s my fault he saw other women. So I picked up a knife, and told him it was his fault I was stabbing him.” – (Living Out Loud)

• “Now you’re looking for the secret, but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled.”  -(The Prestige)

• “First divorce: wife’s hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault. Third divorce: they shouldn’t let you get married when you’re that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada’s fault.” -Ross (Friends)

One more chance, regrets, feelings and confidence blows.

If I had just one more chance, I’d take all my wrongs and make them right

We all go through this. We all experience that horrible reflection when we say; if I could do it all again I wouldn’t do it the way I did. Is it me? Is there really something that bad about me? And it doesn’t matter what anybody tells you because you’re so utterly convinced that it is you and that there is something wrong with you. But if we all think that, then there is something wrong with all of us. We all have skeletons in the closet, things we wish were different about ourselves, unsaid things we can’t say out loud and weak spots. It’s so weird, we make decisions and act a certain way because they seem like the right thing to do in the moment. Yet afterwards we can be overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, regret and self-loathing. 

A true woman will never be fully satisfied by her hair or her body. No matter how intelligent she is, she will want others to think she is beautiful physically. Any girl who tells you that she doesn’t care about how she is perceived is lieing. Yes, any press is good press, but we’d all rather be told that we’re gorgeous than to be pointed at and mocked for our gap teeth, small breasts and flabby stomachs.

We all have feelings but we don’t all have the same wants or needs. Sometimes, in a relationship, two people can be so right for each other and look great together, but if one doesn’t subside to the others needs completely- it’s never going to work. We can’t change people, they can only change themeselves. All we can really hope for is that our flaws don’t overshadow our goodness and that our imperfections can make us perfect. Think about it, you could love somebody so much; a friend, a partner, a parent or teacher; yet all it takes is a difference of opinion and suddenly that person isn’t the guardian angel you imagined them to be. We’re human, we were built to be dissatisfied and it is this innate feeling of regret, dissatisfaction and ability to reason, that gets us where we are. Without it, we would still be cavemen.

Always tell the people you love, that you love them. Because, one day, they may not be around anymore for u to say it to. Always be thankful for what you have instead of wishfully pondering on what could be if you had gone down a different road. Easier said than done, I know, but I think all this says something quite wonderful about human beings. We feel things, and I’m not talking physical touch. We get churns in our gut when we are nervous, our hearts sink when we hear bad news, we speak faster when we are excited and our eyes light up when we are happy. All this, because of what we feel inside. It’s fascinating… Well, I think so anyway.

Never regret anything you ever did because at that time, it was exactly what you wanted

Election Day 2015 rant

The Problem With the Youth

So I have an issue with some of my fellow young people of today. Those I have a problem with are split into two categories:

• Those who claim they “don’t care about politics”
• Those who just don’t vote for whatever reason

My problem with the first lot is this; are you really that thick!? I’m sorry, but politics affects every last bit of your life. The price you pay for cigarettes, tuition fees, transport, your health service, your ability to work, the law. You name it, politics impacts it! If I was to ask a peer, does it bother you that the rich and poor pay the same amount of tax? And their response was no, then as far as I’m concerned they’re a robot. If you care about equality, if you care about education, if you care about your bloody human rights then I hate to inform you, that you do care about politics. We are lucky to live in such a country where our say (appears) to matter. Why waste that by not caring? F*** off to somewhere where your world is in chains, we’ll see how much you care then. If you know nothing, that’s understandable- I personally think we should be PROPERLY EDUCATED in school about such matters. But what is stoping you from picking up a newspaper? Spending 10 minutes googling what certain parties propose? Or laughing at the politicians fighting one another on live TV? The whole country is talking about it, you should be too!

Those who do not vote… Now I address you. Nothing angers me more when ” I didn’t/will not vote” comes out of a females mouth. 😡😡😡 did all those women die for no reason!? Women starved, were tortured and killed to allow your voice to be heard, what sort of women are you if you do not feel an innate responsibility to do your ancestors justice?  This seriously makes my blood boil! Furthermore, I am flabbergasted by the amount of young people who spend their time moaning about the way things are or how “shit life is” when they are not attempting or willing to use the ‘x’ which could potentially change that. If you do not want to follow the solution, don’t complain about the problem. Russel Brand wants revolution by not voting, and while this might initially sound attractive, somewhere, someone will vote. The way to do it, is not to boycot, but vote for who you feel can change things. His argument poses that he does not believe anyone can really change things in a positive manner. Now, he is most likely right about this, so why doesn’t he stand for election? Be the change you want to see in the world etc etc etc, sorry but I have no time for hypocrisy.

A Personal Matter

My mother has been in this country for a very very long time. She has no criminal convictions, speaks the language fluently, raises a British child and on top of that, she has served the government for 30 years and is outstanding at her job! (I’m not biased, ask anybody who knows her for confirmation) 

She has chosen not to undergo the citizenship test, for her own reasons. However, this means she does not get to vote… This morning I said to her: Mum, why don’t you take it? You can have your say then. Her response hit me hard! She stated that she refused to pay such a rediculous amount of money to take a test, that she did not want to pledge her alliance to the country she wasn’t born in and that she believed strongly that she should be GIVEN the right to vote, rather than pay for it. I swear, I’m fuming. Here we have a well rounded, hard working woman who pays £11,000-ish a year income tax, yet her voice is muted! And we apparently live in a democracy? Shame on you Britain! She’s served you well for long enough…

A Flawed System?

I know I’m young and naive but there are certain things which really do puzzle me immensely. For example, it seems to be that if you’re not voting for Labour or Conservative, then it is a “wasted vote”. I conclude that, for this reason, many people do not vote for what they truly believe in and want. We seem to be stuck in a vortex of reputation and big names which creates limited choice for many.

In France and in other countries there are two rounds of voting, I cannot stress enough how useful this would be in England. While I believe that there is an argument to support what we have now, imagine the benefits! First round, everybody can vote for exactly who they want, it’s then narrowed down to a top 2 or 3 and we vote again. This seems efficient, in my opinion at least.

Despite my rant I hope everybody voted today, may the next five years build us towards a secure and safe future!

It’s been a while!

Well hello there blogging world, I know it’s been a long time and here are the reasons why…

Exam Season!!!

I believe I speak for the majority of young people when I say; it’s that time of year again! My days consist of being at school, coming home exhausted, giving myself five minutes to have a fag and get changed before I sit at a desk and keep my head down until dinner. Been told constantly these past two years that A levels are not a sprint, they’re a marathon. While I quite like, and in many ways agree, with that analogy I cannot help but see that the things I was revising back in January still need my attention. With my first exam a little over four weeks away, there is certainly a lot to do! Many of us constantly ask each other what the best way to revise is, but to be quite honest it seems to be different for every subject and each of us as individuals. I find that for me, writing out old notes in pretty colours, then making flash cards is an effective way to begin before starting those all important past exam papers. Yet I know so many of my friends who would find such methods tedious and dull. Media revision is mostly sitting on my arse watching the same three films over and over again, though I really need to start reviewing my knowledge on marketing strategies and audience theories. I’ll tell you one thing I struggle with though … How the f*** does one revise for English!? I seem to be doing the same thing repeatedly; rereading The Crucible, writing out key terms and linguistic techniques, the occasional exam question, but I still doubt just how good this is. I mean it very sincerely when I say that even Shakespeare wouldn’t get an A in English A level!

UCAS

So I had a bit of a dilemma not so long ago. My original insurance choice (Univeristy of Greenwich) emailed me saying that due to unforeseen circumstances they were no longer running their Philosophy program. I cannot tell you the amount of screaming I did at the time! This left me with such extreme feelings of turmoil it was unreal, I had to go through the application process all over again. Luckily for me, I have some very supportive and experienced staff at my school who quickly hooked me up with Essex Univeristy. Initially, I was so pro Kings that I just saw it as something I HAD to do rather than something I genuinely wanted. So, I applied and was offered an interview which really pissed me off as it meant I had to wait even longer to do my firm and insurance. Now, I’m not religious whatsoever but I swear, somewhere, someone decided that this was meant for me! My interview and open day was such a wonderful experience and now my heart is set on going there – sorry Kings! As of yesterday, my application for accommodation up there is complete and now it’s just a matter of sitting back and refreshing my emails. I must admit that I am really looking forward to it and feel quite stupid for my original reaction.

What’s coming up?

Loads! Aside from my exams I have my driving test soon. Finally got insurance on the car so I’m getting a lot of extra practise in when I can. Finding the whole driving thing quite therapeutic and although I’m not too bothered about getting my own car straight away, I want to have passed before I move out. After exams I’m off to Barcelona for a week with my girls, which will be fun, I need a stress release! Some sun, plenty of alcohol, beaches and Spanish accents is going to be a great way to start the summer of 2015. When I’m back from Barca it’s straight on the plane back home to the south of France to see some family. My youngest cousin over there has grown so much since I last saw him, I miss them all very much. We have a lo to catch up on and I’m particularly excited to meet one of my cousins boyfriends, he needs my approval haha! I think it’s either the day after or two days after I’m back that results day will be upon me, don’t really think I need to go into the details of how I feel about that one …

Stay focused, stay hungry, stay foolish

A List of Random, Reoccuring Thoughts …. Anyone relate?

1. I don’t quite know where I am or where I’m heading
2. Is what I’m doing right now going to matter this time next year?
3. Oh, he’s cute 😍
4. Is it really THAT GOOD to be different?💭
5. What if I was wrong about you …
6. If God does actually exist, I’m going to hell for sure!
7. Why does my Mother blame herself for my errors?
8. Is Procrastination an illness?
9. Is 2+2 actually 5?
10. What if I regret the course I choose at university?
11. I should go for the salad, but that pizza is calling my name 😐
12. Music is becoming too repetitive 
13. If only England was always this sunny ☀️
14. Richness has no currency
15. Never fear the smart, the cultured or the open-minded. Fear the thick, the naive and the shallow 

For Anybody Who Needs Motivation

Feel like nobody believes in you? Feel like everyone expects you to fail? Then you believe in yourself. It might sound corny but positive self talk goes a long way, and (I have found) helps prevent procrastination. I’m telling you that the words of the people who put you down will not scar if you don’t let it. The world will come with knives at you and that’s a fact, so be kind to yourself. Everybody deserves the right to better themselves, be loved and experience beyond what situations might opress them from. You make your own sunlight and it takes more energy to be lazy, down and unmotivated; than to be happy, enjoying what you’re doing and reaping the benefits of hard work.

It is not the critic who counts. Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who was actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. Who strives valiantly. Who errs. Who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does always actually strive to do the deeds. Who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions. Who spends himself in a worthy cause. Who at the best, knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Easter break and exam stress

Good Friday

It is the start of my first full day of the Easter Holiday and I am not quite sure how I feel about this yet. Although two weeks off school sounds perfectly adequate right now; the joy of it has been taken away by the need to revise, knuckle down, and become a boffin! Ontop of that, it looks like I’ll still be waking up stupidly early as my body seems to refuse any sort of hibernation. I went to bed around 11 last night in hope that I wouldn’t be awake before midday today, but, alas, I was awake at 7. The perks of a body clock!

Plans for the next two weeks

Apart from the upcoming birthday of someone very special to me, there really is not much planned. My mother flies off to Siciliy for a week and I cannot even bring myself to look forward to her absence. Surely every 19 year old would love their house (practically) to themselves but what’s the point when most of my company will be school text books? I Procrastinate hugely, which is the reason for my underachievement and constant disappointments despite being told “You’re so bright” all the time. Have promised myself this time will be different, I am way to afraid of not getting into Kings next year! So, while avoiding procrastination is high on my list; I’m hoping to fit a lot of Doctor Who, Gossip Girl and heavy drinking into my two weeks off. However, as I’ve learnt, the essentials such as sleep, social life and studying can never be balanced. Only two out of the three are ever possible at one time and me like a fool, puts my social life before anything …. I really ought to work on that!